Shared parenting after separation: A practical guide to child arrangements in Scotland

When parents separate, one of the biggest decisions is how to divide care of the children. In some cases, one parent may take on most of the day-to-day care. In others, the children might spend time living with both parents more equally.

This is often called “shared care" or "shared parenting". In legal terms, the law in Scotland doesn't require a 50/50 split of time. Instead, it allows children to live with different people at different times, depending on what's in their best interests.

What does shared care mean in practice?

Shared care doesn’t have to mean splitting time exactly equally between parents. What matters most is that the arrangements work for the children and support their wellbeing.

Each parent should aim to make the most of the time they have with their children, so the children feel secure, supported and connected to both sides of their family.

While many professionals support this approach, UK-specific research has been limited - especially in relation to younger children and families who make arrangements without going to court.

A current study from the University of Edinburgh is gathering views from families and professionals across Scotland and England. It aims to build a clearer picture of how shared care affects children, and what support families might need to make it work.

In the United Kingdom, approximately 30% of children experience their parents' separation. Many parents and professionals believe it's in the child’s best interests to have shared care (for example, seeing each parent at least two days a week). However, much of the evidence to date has come from outside the UK and doesn't always reflect the reality of families here, particularly those who reach arrangements without going to court. This University of Edinburgh study hopes to close that gap by including families' real experiences and children's voices, especially those under eight.

How do courts approach shared care?

In Scotland, the court's main concern is always the welfare of the child. That means there’s no default arrangement or formula - it all depends on what meets their needs given their own circumstances.

Some parents agree to shared care without going to court. But if a case does go to court, the court will look at how practical the proposals are, how well the parents communicate, and how the child is likely to experience the arrangements.

Is shared care right for your family?

Every family is different. What works for one may not work for another. But there are some common things parents should think about:

• Are both homes close enough to school, childcare and clubs?

• Do both parents have time and flexibility to handle day-to-day care?

• Will the children have their routines supported in both homes?

• Are wider family members (like grandparents) nearby and involved?

• Can both parents talk about decisions calmly and clearly?

• Are co-parenting apps or communication tools needed?

• What happens if a child is ill or plans change at short notice?

• Have you spoken to the school or nursery to make sure they understand the plan?

The more realistic and child-focused the plan, the more likely it is to work long term.

Getting help and making it work

If communication is difficult, support is available. Many families work with a mediator to help them build a parenting plan or agree changes as children grow older.

Shared care can still succeed even when things feel tense. It often helps to get everything written down clearly in a document your lawyer drafts for you known as a Minute of Agreement. This can include practical details like pick-up times, holidays and communication expectations.

We also understand the role wider family can play, and we've written separately about grandparents' rights in Scotland. 

FAQs

Do I need to go to court to set up shared care?
Not necessarily. Many parents agree arrangements themselves or with support from a mediator or solicitor. Court is usually a last resort if parents can’t agree.

Does shared care mean a 50/50 split of time?
No. Shared care can take many forms. It’s not about the exact number of nights, but about both parents being actively involved.

Can shared care work if communication is difficult?
It can, especially if there’s a clear written plan in place. Tools like co-parenting apps can help reduce misunderstandings.

Every family is different. If you're thinking about shared care or need help putting a plan in place, our family law team is here to help with practical, straightforward advice.

To learn more or to discuss your current circumstances, get in touch with our family lawyers.