Separation — a festive season survival guide

Sadly though, it can also be a peak break-up time for couples.

And that could be for a number of reasons: whether it’s because people feel under stress or more pressure; they’re worried about how to pay for everything; or are just taking stock and looking to what the new year might bring.

Of course, break-ups are difficult at any time. Emotions will run high, but the good news is that there are ways to work through the difficulties of separation and divorce constructively, and reach the best outcome for you and your family.

What about the kids?

Children will always be a main consideration for any separating couple, but the advice is to keep them out of it as far as possible.

At an early stage, they don’t need to know that their parents are making arrangements to separate.

If you can, try to continue as normal at the start, this is also likely to help minimise any future arguments about contact.

If parents can’t agree, the court can be asked to determine where the children live using the legal test of what’s in the children’s best interests.

It’s better if parents can reach an agreement about an arrangement themselves, and that can often be achieved with the help of a trained mediator.

Do I really need to keep speaking to him/her?

Usually, yes.

Communication during separation can be important. Regardless of your reasons for splitting up you may need to speak to your spouse or partner. In practical terms, this can make the process easier and should cut down on lengthy legal correspondence. Research also shows that it is beneficial to children if they see that their parents are able to be civil with one another despite the fact that they have separated.

However, there are circumstances when that simply doesn’t work. For example, if you think your spouse is disposing of your assets without you knowing, or in cases of domestic violence. In that case you would be better to speak to your solicitor first to take appropriate action.

But what about our finances?

Finances should always be resolved as amicably as possible and, most importantly, with the benefit of independent legal advice.

In Scotland, if you are married each spouse is entitled to a ‘fair’ share of the matrimonial property. The starting point here is 50% each; however, there are situations where this isn’t a fair split. The rules in relation to division of assets if you are cohabitants are slightly different. Your solicitor will be able to provide you with advice relevant to your circumstances.

You may already have an idea of what you want to settle on, but always get sound advice first. In particular, never sign a legal agreement without speaking to your solicitor first: you might find yourself locked into an agreement with implications that you didn’t appreciate.

“It’s far too early to involve solicitors!”

It’s never too early to seek legal advice.

At times like these, you need sensitive, confidential assistance. You can also seek help and support before you separate, to make sure you don’t make costly mistakes further down the line. Obtaining legal advice means that you can make an informed decision in relation to all matters post separation.

What is the date of separation and why is it important?

When the separating couple are married, this date is referred to as “the relevant date” and can have huge financial significance when it comes to determining the matrimonial assets that need to be divided.

Legally, it is the date the couple stops living together as husband and wife. Sometimes they may carry on living under the same roof for a period and it is necessary to clarify when the spouses started to live independently and no longer as a married couple to identify the date of separation.

Above all...

Look after your own interests, and those of any children. Your solicitor will be well placed to advise you on how best to do that.

For sensible, straightforward advice, contact the family law team, and you can read other insights on our news and views page.